Tag Archives: 1999

#songoftheday: The Ataris – Your Boyfriend Sucks

The song that introduced me to “The Locked Car Test”.

On their way to the song’s outro, The Ataris through in a clip from A Bronx Tale, where Chazz Palminteri gives Lillo Brancato some advice on how to find a nice girl.

Here’s the jist of it:
1) Start with a locked car.
2) Unlock the passenger side, and open the door for your date.
3) After they’re in, proceed to walk around the back of the car, on your way to the drivers side.

If your date:
A) Reaches over and unlocks your door for you:
– Congrats! They’re genuinely thoughtful, and your future looks bright.
B) Sits there and waits for you to unlock your own door:
– It means they’re self absorbed, and you probably shouldn’t set up that second date.

Unfortunately, the proliferation of power locks, and my lack of a car, have really held back my ability to use this advice in my everyday life.

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